Non-stop development!

I've really been wanting to post about Hudson's development for a while and just haven't found the time thanks to this out of control nesting instinct that has kicked in (just as an aside...where did this come from?!? I've already cleaned and reorganized our closets, built the crib and dresser (well, made Ryan build the crib and dresser...), and rearranged the furniture in our house. The baby isn't even due for 9 more weeks, but I'm OBSESSED with getting this house ready). Anyways, Hudson is blowing us away with his development and his cuteness.

-I've been really wanting to post the video of this, but I can't figure out how to shorten it. Hudson's most exciting accomplishment lately has been spelling his name! For a while, he would see an 'H' and say 'H - Hudson'. On Oct. 2nd, I was sitting on the couch with him and he just looked at me and said "H-u-d-s-o-n". I was in total shock! I made Ryan run in and see if we could have him do it again and did. Then he would do it all the time (in a cheerleader voice H-u-d, S-o-n). Our nanny would tell him to tell another kid his name at the park and he would just spell it. We didn't teach him this, but we just write his name alot when we draw. Apparently he was paying attention!

- He can count to 10 (this isn't new though)

- He knows all of his colors

- He knows most of his letters, but just not in order. If you point to a "Q", he'll say "Q", but he can't say his ABCs yet.

- He knows most of his shapes.

- He LOVES to hug and kiss the cats. Thankfully, they allow this

- "Oh dear" has been replaced with "Oh Gosh!" in his vocabulary. Between this phrase and his hair style, I'm not totally convinced that he isn't 89 years old!

- He walks up and down the stairs. No more scooching down on his bum!

- Sometimes when we wants Ryan's attention, instead of saying "DAD!", he'll say "RYAN!". It cracks me up!

- Since his language is picking up, we need to watch what we say. Ryan and I don't usually ever swear (unless we're watching a Steeler game!), but I do say "Oh crap!". Unfortunately, now Hudson does too.

- He likes this new soap that my mom bought him. He opens it in the tub, sniffs it, and says "Mmmmm...good!" (It's coconut scented). I have a video of this too, but just need to get it uploaded.

- When he farts, he says "toot!". Then we have to remind him to also say "Excuse me".

- He has different voices when he's talking about something big and something little. If it's big, he'll say "BIIIIIIIG truck!" and when it's little he'll whisper in a high pitched voice "little truck".

- When he's really excited over something you're about to give him, he immediately says "thank you!". Most other times you have to remind me to say it.

- Nothing much new with sleeping or eating. He still wakes up about 2 times a night. And he still eats nothing much more than crackers and yogurt.

- Some of his favorite toys are: legos (yes, the real little kind that our nanny accidentally bought him while he was sick. Some of the pieces are the size of a tic tac!), balloons and balls (to kick), crayons/things to draw with.

- Some of his favorite books are: Bounce One Baby (which he calls "Baby Jump"), Bathe One Baby, any Spot book, Peekaboo Blueberry, I love you through and through, Goodnight Moon (where he loves to point out the "firetruck", aka fire place).

I'm sure there's so much more that he's doing, but it's slipping my mind as I think about cleaning our garage....

H1N1 made its way to our house

I can't believe I actually had to type that. Hudson, who has yet to really have any type of illness, was diagnosed with H1N1 yesterday. I've gotten lots of emails and facebook messages from people asking about how I knew he had it, how he's being treated, etc., so I thought I would share all of my newly learned H1N1 knowledge to educate all of the other moms out there worried about this virus. (Warning: this is going to be pretty long).

So, I guess it really all started Saturday morning. We were in Pittsburgh visiting my family. My little brother Joey, who is 14, was saying that he wasn't feeling well. He really napped all day and ended up having a fever. We actually didn't see him for much of the weekend after Saturday morning since he was laid up in bed. The entire house (my mom, stepdad, other brother, myself, and Ryan) were extremely vigilant about germ control. Anything that Joey touched (blankets, pillows, etc) went straight to the wash. We had bottles of Purrell all over the house. In addition to Hudson, my 10 month old niece was also there, so we were trying to protect them.

On Monday, Hudson had some diaherra before we left Pittsburgh. We leave at his nap time and he usually sleeps for the entire trip. But this time, he woke up at Breezewood (almost the half way point) and was saying "belly hurt". When we got home, he seemed fine. On Tuesday, he was fine other than his lack of appetite. He also had a mild cough. At midnight, he woke up and Ryan went to lay him back down (this is an everynight occurance...he never sleeps all night). Ryan brought him into our room and asked me to feel if I thought he felt warm. He was definitely running a fever. I didn't want to take his diaper off, so I just checked his temperature under his arm. It was 100.7. He was coughing more and more and it was really raspy. I started to get freaked out (remember, he's never been sick), so I called the on call pediatrician. She was clearly unhappy about my anxiety. I explained that I was worried since we have two high risk people in the house (Hudson, for being under 2, and me, for being pregnant). She said that 100.7 is barely a fever and if he's breathing okay, there's nothing to worry about (easier said than done!). The rest of the night was spent trying to comfort him and worrying.

On Wednesday morning, he was burning up and I took his temperature rectally. It was 103. He was really lethargic. I called the pediatrician again and spoke with the nurse practitioner. She told me that this is just something going around and to make sure that he doesn't have 1. rapid breathing 2. lack of thirst or 3. a temperature above 104. I mentioned again that I was pregnant and asked if I should take precautions. She recommended calling my OB since many pregnant women were being treated with Tamiflu.

So I called my OB who was APPALLED that the pedi didn't test Hudson for H1N1. She said that it was important to know for my well-being as well as his. She was calling me a prescription for Tamiflu in and told me that if I started to feel sick at all to start taking it. I told her I would call the pediatrician back and ask them to test him. We were able to get an appointment for that afternoon.

Before leaving for his appointment, he was burning up and was due for another dose of motrin (which had been helping tremendously). But I decided to let the doctor see him and then I would give him the motrin. When we got there, his temperature was 104.4. The doctor checked his lungs, ears, and nose and said everything else looked okay. She explained that she was going to give him the rapid flu test which only tests whether or not he has influenza and does not differentiate between the different types (i.e. it wouldn't tell us if he had H1N1 or another kind). That said, she explained that any positive rapid test is assumed to be positive for H1N1 since it's too early in the season for the other flus to be presenting themselves. The test for H1N1 takes 4 days to provide results at which point it would be too late for either of us to begin Tamiflu. She then did the rapid test which is a swab WAY up into Hudson's nose. Within 5 minutes she came back and said it was positive. She was going to write Hudson a prescription for Tamiflu, but explained that it could be hard to find at a pharmacy since Hudson would need a liquid form which was a bit rare.

After calling around to a few places, we were able to find it at Hopkins. They closed in an hour, so I rushed out to get it for him. Well, I get to the pharmacy and realized that I forgot the prescription at home. So I called the on duty pediatrician and explained the situation and asked her to call the prescription in while I waited. She asked if Hudson had asthma and I told her no. She asked why his doctor prescribed Tamiflu then. She said Tamiflu was reserved for patients with compromised immune systems and that they weren't just giving it to any child who had flu symptoms. I told her I was pregnant and she said that was why it was prescribed. I couldn't believe that Hudson would be left to suffer had I not been pregnant!

I called my OB back and told her that Hudson's test was positive and she said that it was best for me to start Tamifu right away. So, I got the Tamiflu for both Hudson and myself. Since Hudson has the flu, he will take it twice a day for 5 days. Since I've only been exposed, I will take it once a day for 10 days. It was pretty amazing to see how all of the doctors were really more concerned with me than with Hudson (and I wasn't even sick!). Of course, it made me nervous, but also relieved. I would rather it be me who was at risk than Hudson.

Last night was another rough night. Hudson still had a fever and was really congested with a nasty cough. He's been sleeping all night in our arms since he needs to be upright or else he gets too congested. Of course, I'm exhausted now which isn't helping the whole prevention of me getting sick. I've been coughing more and more and feel like I have chest/back pains. I go to the OB tomorrow, so I'll be checked then.

I just wanted to put the whole story out there so that other people can understand what symptoms to look for and why their doctor may not test/treat the flu. We're all praying that this passes soon.

My apologies....

....for not letting you know that we all survived the weekend apart!

Friday morning, Ryan and I were doing some last minute packing, relaxing, and enjoying a Starbucks. We were planning on leaving as soon as we got everything together. We were ready around 11:30am. I was so excited about the trip that I wasn't even dreading saying goodbye to Hudson. When the time came to leave, he told us "buh bye" and waved, gave hugs and kisses, and we left. There were no tears (from me or Hudson!).

Ryan and I had a fantastic time in Cape May. We spent LOTS of time by the pool, reading. The beach was a little too windy. Plus the hotel had an "adult pool" which was basically a large bath tub - the water was SO warm. In addition to relaxing, we ate....TONS. On Friday night we hit up Martini Beach for dinner. On Saturday, we went to Mad Batter and 410 Bank St. On Sunday, we went to George's and The Ebbitt Room (where we also celebrated our engagement 5 years ago). We did a little shopping and some walking on the beach. We watched our beloved Steelers hand a game over to the Bungles, which was all the less exciting given that we were watching the game with a deaf Bungles fan who kept shouting things at us even though we couldn't understand him. We were lucky to be joined by another Steelers couple....who happened to be Carnegie Tech grads! Small world!

On Saturday afternoon, I asked Ryan "is it bad that I'm not missing Hudson?". I mean, being able to dictate your own wake up time (which, unfortunately, was still 5 or 6a), eat a warm meal in a restaurant, have adult conversation, and relax is pretty easy to get used to! By Sunday night though, we were at dinner talking about how we missed Hudson and I finally broke down and started to cry. I was quite proud of myself for making it that long!

Hudson, on the other hand, didn't seem to realize we were gone! Mom Mom and Pop Pop kept him busy. Much to my relief, he didn't even ask for us until Sunday. One of the best parts about leaving him was that the return trip was so much more exciting. Usually, you're bummed when you leave vacation. But this time, I was so excited to come home and see him. Hudson, however, did not feel the same way. He was napping when we got home. I ran to the store and he woke up while I was gone. Ryan was holding him and when I came up to say hello, he started to scream and cry. I couldn't even look at him without him shouting "No!". Apparently, our cats taught him their lesson of being mad at Mommy and Daddy when we leave. It wasn't until Monday night that Hudson allowed me to hold him. Of course, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm, but it was better than him crying for us while we were gone.

Here are a few pics from the trip:The Congress Hall Hotel


The view from the pool

Me and my belly on the beach

Posing at the spot where Ryan proposed 5 years ago


The baby and the lighthouse

Mixed emotions

Well, the weekend is finally here. My wonderful husband surprised me with a weekend trip to Cape May as a birthday gift. Cape May holds a special place in our hearts because that's where Ryan proposed and we had a big celebration with both of our families. So there's a lot of emotion attached to the destination, making it the perfect place for us to go away together. I'm obviously thrilled to go back, have some one-on-one time to connect with my husband, and do what all moms dream about....relax.

However, this is our first overnight trip without Hudson. It's been 682 days since that little monkey arrived in our lives and, every one of those nights, I have spent with him. Ryan has gone away for various trips since Hudson's birth, but I have never once left him over night. This is probably the point in the post that most readers are thinking "wow, lady, it's time to cut the cord". The truth is that I was nursing for so long (19 months) that the thought of leaving him overnight and needing to pump sounded less than appealing. In addition, I refused to subject anyone else to Hudson's middle of the night antics, which include crying and needing to be held, often once an hour. But we have gotten to a point where Hudson is sleeping better (not all night, but not waking every hour either). And I have gotten to a point, as a mother, where I feel like I'm ready to take that step. So I have overcome my previous fears (of pumping and of Hudson not sleeping), but there's one fear that's still lingering...the thought of Hudson missing us.

I know I'm overthinking this. In fact, when Ryan and I talk about this weekend, he's not afraid of how Hudson will do, but rather afraid of how much he's going to miss Hudson. Sure, I'll miss him too, but I know that I need a break and am looking forward to things like nice dinners with adult conversation and quiet time to read on the beach without disruptions. At the same time, it breaks my heart to think of Hudson asking for me or Ryan and wondering where his Mommy and Daddy are. Even more heart wrenching is the thought of him wondering if we're coming back.

Hudson will be in great hands this weekend. I know that he's going to love spending time with his Mom Mom and Pop Pop. I know that he's going to be adored, loved, and, most likely, spoiled. That has made this weekend much more palatable. In fact, I hope that we come home and Hudson had so much fun that he didn't miss us at all. I know that would crush most parents, but it would provide me with so much relief to know that we were actually forgotten about for 3 days.

While I'm feeling a little sad and nervous about Hudson's reaction over this trip, I'm also excited and giddy about having but a snapshot of my previous life back. While I would never trade my title of "Mommy" in for anything, it's going to be wonderful to remember what it was like when that wasn't my only identity.

Hudson updates

Since my little guy turned 22 months (sniff!) I thought I'd post some updates on what he's getting into these days....

He LOVES to kick. He will just kick a ball for hours. (During which time he'll also usually "Run. Fast!"). He loves to kick it really hard and say "BIIIIIIIG KICK!", while sticking his tongue out:
He's grown found of Sesame Street. He'll just sit on the couch and watch an entire episode:
One of his favorite things to do on the deck is to use chalk. Sometimes, he gets carried away:He has learned to completely milk every boo boo. In his best old lady voice, he'll say "Oooooooooooh........boo boo.......kiss". Sometimes he also says "Fall. Sorry." (He knows that he's supposed to say sorry if he hurts someone, so he says sorry every time he hurts himself too - it's so freakin' cute!). Here's him complaining about a boo boo:

While I don't have a picture, I think this is still deserving of some blog time - Hudson used the potty yesterday! I was changing him and he started to pee a little. I asked him if he wanted to go on the potty and he said "potty". So I took him in the bathroom and sat him down on the big potty and he went! We did alot of cheering and dancing, so I think he was pretty excited too. He went again before bed.

He's OBSESSED with sharing. While that sounds like a good thing, his idea of sharing isn't what you may have had in mind. He'll say "share" and try to give the other kid what ever he has just so that he can get what the kid has. In other words, he means "share...with me!". In addition, he says "share" over and over and over again....

He is becoming a Mama's boy. He constantly says "Mama hold" and wants me to pick him up and cuddle. He's always kissing me and hugging me. His favorite is a "BIIIIIG HUG" (as he calls it), when he comes running at me with open arms.

As for his sleep, well, let's just say that it's old news. Still takes forever to get him down at night and still wakes up throughout the night. We've gotten into the habit of bringing him into our bed since we're just so tired, but that has to stop before baby #2 comes! We used to be able to hold his hand until he fell asleep, but now he stands up and asks "Momma, hold baby" and he wants me to hold him like a baby and rock him. How could I deny that?!?!

The things no one tells you

After Hudson arrived, I realized that there were so many things that no one tells you about motherhood. Many of these things are just errors of omission, like how you can NEVER throw bibs (with velcro) in with your other laundry unless you want to snag every last article of clothing in the washer. Others are just indescribable, left to be experienced first hand by each mother, like the amount of love and protection you have for your child. Late one night while we were in NJ, Hudson was having another sleepless night (big surprise) and as I was walking him around the bedroom to lull him back to sleep, I began to revisit these thoughts. But this time, I was thinking about the things that no one tells you about your second pregnancy.

I LOVED being pregnant with Hudson. Sure, I wasn't so fond of the heartburn, but otherwise, it was pure bliss. I adored my big belly. I welcomed 50 pounds onto my body with open arms (when my prior attitude was to groan at gaining 2 pounds). I cherished every little kick and movement that I felt from within. I could sit there for hours just watching my stomach wave and roll, amazed by the life that was growing inside of me. I dutifully recorded every stage of pregnancy through weekly belly pictures and multiple letters to Hudson in a journal. So, it's easy to imagine how excited I was about being pregnant again. Once Hudson turned 1, we decided that it was time to start trying for baby #2 and I was giddy with anticipation of another pregnancy. The problem is that no one told me how different it was going be. So for all of you mommies thinking about #2, let me fill you in on some of the changes....

1. This has been the hardest of all of the differences between pregnancy to deal with....I'm not as connected to this baby as I was to Hudson. When people ask if the baby is kicking alot, I just kinda shrug and say "yeah, I feel him* now and then". With Hudson, I could tell you how many kicks I felt in any given timeframe. When people ask how far along I am, I have to think and even then I'm still not sure that I know. With Hudson, I was constantly reminded of how many weeks I was since I was always getting weekly emails and reading books about each week of my pregnancy. My pregnancy with Hudson seemed to drag on, which left me ample time to bond with my growing baby. This pregnancy is going so quickly that I barely have had a minute to think about it. I feel like my relationship with baby #2 is already less formed than it was with Hudson.

2. Remember that maternal guilt I discussed in this post? Well, it has begun in utero this time around. I'm constantly feeling down on my self for all of my "shortcomings" with this pregnancy. I put shortcomings in quotes because these things would only be considered so by a perfectionist. I haven't really kept a baby book. I have barely taken any belly pictures. I don't read to this baby. I rarely use Thumper (which is this gimmicky baby learning system that I attached to my stomach for two hours each day and it plays thumping noises. With Hudson, I religiously attached that machine to my big belly each morning and each night. In fact, we went to a Steelers game in DC while I was pregnant with Hudson and I even brought Thumper with me so that I could wear it during the hour ride home). I focus so much of my time on Hudson that my bonding time with this baby is getting the short end of the stick. As I mentioned in point #1, I don't really feel bonded to this baby. Talk about feeling guilty!

3. I'm so lax about everything. Not just the baby book, belly pictures, and Thumper, but also with my health. During my pregnancy with Hudson, I worked out up until the day I delivered (literally, I had my workout clothes with me to go to the gym and I ended up going to labor and delivery instead!). I knew the ins and outs of every thing I was or wasn't supposed to eat. This pregnancy I can't even remember what those things are! Despite my fears of nitrates in lunch meats with pregnancy #1, I've found myself eating large quantities of turkey breast and salami (in fact, that was all I could tolerate during my first trimester) this time around. I have had multiple sips of wine and/or alcohol. I don't even ask if cheeses are pasteurized or if the caesar dressing is made with raw eggs this pregnancy. I don't read books to this baby (I mean, he hears me when I read to Hudson, right?). Ryan has also fallen victim to this lackadaisical parent syndrome. I don't think he's actually spoken to this baby, let alone read him stories and tell him how much he loves him

To ease my fears about how much of a disadvantage this baby is at compared to Hudson, I tried to create a list of advantages for this baby as I wondered around the dark room waiting for Hudson to fall back to sleep.

1. This baby will have "experienced" parents. I kept going back and forth about whether this was actually good or bad. I mean, on one hand Ryan and I should know what we're doing by now and learned from any mistakes we made with Hudson. But on the other hand, some of those "mistakes" may have actually been beneficial for Hudson. Like how we never let him cry himself to sleep. We see it as a mistake now since Hudson requires us to sit there with him each night and possibly hold him. But maybe this was a bonding experience that we could possibly neglect baby #2 of. The jury is still out on whether this is advantageous, but I keep telling myself that we have had to learn something in these past 2 years that will help baby #2! The one thing that I keep coming back to is breastfeeding. After 19 months, I should be a seasoned pro and a great teacher for my new little one.

2. The aforementioned tasks of recording everything in a journal, taking belly pictures, etc. has to come at cost....stress. This baby will not be exposed to the anxiety over whether or not that feta I just ate was pasteurized.

3. Probably the most important thing is that that this baby has another person who is going to love him like no one else can....his big brother.



*Since I think this baby is a boy, I'm going to use the masculine pronoun thoughout this post. But believe me, I don't know anything about this baby's gender!

30 just keeps getting better!

Thanks to my wonderful husband. He planned yet another surprise for me this past week. We went to NJ to visit his family for the week and my family was set to come out from Pgh. My in-laws have a great house near the shore. In addition to being so close to the beach, they have a pool, hot tub, and volleyball court all in their backyard, so we planned for this to be our summer vacation. Ryan and I were so excited to get both of our families together for the week (that's always a good time...especially when martinis are involved....). Plus we were going to have multiple sets of babysitters just itching for alone time with Hudson. We got there on Friday afternoon and my family was set to arrive on Saturday afternoon. On Saturday morning, Ryan asked if I wanted to go see a movie, so Ryan, Kevin (my brother-in-law) and I went to see Inglourious Basterds (which was great, by the way. Oh yeah, and that's not my spelling error...that's actually the title). I knew that my mom, step-dad, and aunt would be at the house when we got back. When I walked in, I was a little surprised by the decorations and the fact that they were all wearing leis. I thought it was weird that my father-in-law was taking pictures of me. Well, out of nowhere jumped my brother, his little girl, my uncle, his girlfriend, (all from Pgh) my best friend from high school, her husband, her daughter, and my best friend from college (all in from NYC)!!! My thoughtful hubby planned a surprise party for me! Later that evening, our good friends from Virginia also arrived. They drove up from VA just for the party and headed back that evening. Talk about awesome friends! (Oh and they did those 10 hours of driving with a 2 year old and a 2 week old!).

This party was yet another reminder of all of the blessings in my life. Having people go out of their way for me (by party planning and/or traveling) touched me so deeply. So, to everyone involved, especially my loving husband, thanks for making this birthday one of the best!

Here are a few pics from the party:

As we're packing the car, I walk downstairs to find Hudson like this...lying in his folded stroller.

My yummy cake that traveled from Pittsburgh - it's not a birthday without Giant Eagle cake!

Walking in and asking why they all had on leis

SURPRISE! Note the hand on my head

Getting filled in on all of the lies

Posing with my yummy cake (complete with Steeler helmets)

Hudson being a mack and being fed strawberries by Layla